Ugh, I have been SO bad about blogging! LIFE has flown in and overtaken me Plus, honestly, I just haven’t felt like blogging for the past month. I needed a little break!
I have had quite a bit going on with me over the past few months, specifically with my health. I have been dealing with a diagnosis of arthritis and borderline spinal stenosis in my back, as well as a low functioning thyroid. I have been working closely with a holistic doctor/chiropractor (as the only thing my other doctor can do for me is offer injections in my back…no thanks!) to get my health back on track and to hopefully (fingers crossed) get rid of this nagging sciatic/hip pain that I have had on and off for 5 years. Ugh. It’s a battle. Getting older is the pits, and I’m not even “old” yet. It’s hard to feel out of control, especially for a moderate control freak as myself…but really, aren’t we all control freaks in some way or another?? God is obviously working on this area of my life.
It’s humbling to face the reality that I am not in control of my life. It’s humbling to be bogged down with pain, and sometimes exhaustion, when I love to be active and full of energy. I miss running. And every few months or so, that nagging, dull pain breaks me. My heart, almost afraid to ask, says to the Lord “Why am I like this? What did I do? How do I fix it?” Another harsh reality sets in – the beginning of motherhood was the beginning of my pain.
When I started to think about how out of control I am, I started thinking about my kids. Ultimately, I have no control over how they will end up as adults. That is their choice. I DO, however, have ultimate influence in their lives right now, and as a follower of Christ I have access to the Throne and I know that I can and will lift them up in prayer every chance that I can.
I am in control of how I chose to live my life.
With this humbling reality comes another one.
I have a Savior who loves me.
Who’s on my side.
Who has a place prepared for me.
And guess what? He WINS.
I am so awed and humbled of what He has done for me.
“Therefore, do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.”
2 Corinthians 4:16
This image really has nothing to do with “humbling.” But it is quite peaceful to look at. And it puts a smile on my face.